Showing posts with label relax. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relax. Show all posts

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Lunch break.......

There was this fish, and this fish was watching a fly, the fish wanted the fly to drop six inches so he could jump and eat it.
There was a bear on the shore, he wanted the fly to drop six inches so the fish would jump and the bear could swipe the fish for lunch.
There was a hunter in the woods, he wanted the fly to drop six inches so the fish would jump, the bear would swipe and the fish and come out into plain view.
There was a mouse eyeing the hunters sandwhich, he wanted the fly to drop six inches so the fish would jump, the bear would move into plain view, the hunter would shoot the bear then the hunter would go get the bear and the mouse could get the sandwhich.
There was a cat waiting for the fly to drop six inches so the fish would jump, the bear would move into plain view, the hunter would shoot the bear and for the mouse to go for the sandwhich.So the fly drops six inches, the fish jumps in the air, the bear catches the fish, the hunter shoots the bear and the mouse swipes the sandwhich.
The blast from the hunters gun startled the cat, which jumped into the river.
The moral of the story is...When the fly drops six inches the pussy gets wet.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Lunch break relax.

Lunch break relax...

1. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking,

but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL

when her LIPS are CLOSED.

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2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :

Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD

After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

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3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :

1. Tele-Phone

2. Tele-Vision

3. Tell to Woman

Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE.

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3 Easy Ways to Die :

Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.

Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early.

Love Someone Truly - You will die daily.

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4. Love your friends not their sisters.

Love your sisters not their friends.

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5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman..

Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.

Moral : BE SPECIFIC

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6. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.

They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.

Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.

Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone.

Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path.

Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

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7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.

If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

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8. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.

Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

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9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD

and ask him to free you from Darkness.

Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness -

Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL

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10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.

Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED

TWICE for the same Mistake.

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